Tag Archives: Romans 12:18

Renegotiating the Contract Part II: Practical Tips for a Successful Dialog

5 Dec

Job responsibilities change over time and it isn’t that uncommon to discover that the job you thought we were hired for isn’t the one we’re doing. When this happens, it can be easy to grow discontent with our wages and benefits. Fortunately, there are plenty of things we can do to help smooth the road for a successful contract renegotiation. Here are a few:

1. Take some time for introspection. Before asking for a raise, more vacation, or extra “perks” take a step back and ask yourself whether you’d give those things to you if the situation were reversed. If you’ve been spreading gossip and malcontent, slacking (even just a little), or fudging your time card in order to “get what you deserve”, you can bet that your boss isn’t going to give you what you ask… or perhaps even a moment in which to ask it. If you wouldn’t give a raise to someone like you, you can be reasonably certain that your boss won’t either.

2. Approach your boss with concrete examples, verified numbers, and hard facts. If you’re doing more work than others on the team, have increased responsibilities, or are just performing to a higher level, that’s great. But it won’t mean much to most employers unless you have some solid documentation of that superior performance. Don’t argue that you deserve a raise simply because you feel like you work hard!

3. Choose your timing carefully. If your boss is busy, in a bad mood, or inattentive, this is not the time to approach him with the examples you’ve collected! Be observant and ensure that your employer is in a fair-minded, attentive mood before you ask for your raise.

4. Be respectful. Rodney Dangerfield used to say, “I can’t get no respect!” It’s a feeling that most employers can sympathize with. Approach your boss with respect, regardless of how you feel about him or her as a supervisor or as an individual. And don’t forget to maintain that respect throughout the conversation… even if things don’t go your way.

5. Be patient. 2 Timothy 2:24 reminds us that, “The Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged.” Recognize that not everyone sees through our eyes… and that we don’t always have all of the information necessary to make a wise judgment. Understand that today’s “no” can become a “yes” once an employer has had time to reflect. Ask clarifying questions to ensure that you understand your boss’ point of view. And remember that God is in control… even when it comes to inequities in the workplace.

If after a reasonable dialogue with your employer, you still aren’t satisfied that you’re getting a fair deal, you can always quit. But do so responsibly! Nobody ever got anywhere trying to cross a burnt bridge and neither will you. Remember the admonition of Romans 12:18, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.” Never leave an employment situation with angry words or actions and always give notice! Two weeks can seem like an eternity in a bad job, but it’s better than a reputation as an untrustworthy employee! (Just because you tell a potential employer not to contact your last boss, doesn’t mean he won’t.) Do your best to make sure that your words and deed bear out your value as a respectful, reliable member of the team!

 

Enforced Pressure: They Really Do Want Me to Be Like Them!

10 Oct

Peer pressure isn’t limited to our own, internal recognition that we don’t quite fit. Sometimes, others really are trying to force us to conform. While this type of pressure doesn’t always take the form of outright bullying, the choices it sets before us and the scars it leaves behind can be just as uncomfortable. Like any good soldier, if we want to stand firm, we need to be ready with a well thought out plan of defense.

Situations involving “enforced” peer pressure can’t be approached in the same way as “perceived pressure”. We do have control over ourselves and whether we become “big picture” thinkers, secure in our own identity. We don’t have control over how others view us or our life choices. Despite our best efforts to “be at peace with all men” (Romans 12:18), not everyone will be comfortable with who we are and what we represent. When that happens, some people will inevitably respond by trying to transform us into something we are not.

Our beliefs, however, aren’t the only reason that we may encounter peer pressure. Indeed, many of the individuals who are guilty of exerting peer pressure aren’t nearly as interested in forcing others to conform as they are in gathering adoring followers for themselves. On occasion, the people who fall into this category are megalomaniacs on an ego trip. More frequently, however, they are individuals who are seeking to build up their own low self-image. If others adore them, then perhaps, they will also come to love themselves.

It should come as no surprise that this type of enforced pressure is actually the easiest to counter. People who fall into this category are in need of an ego boost. We just happen to be available to potentially satisfy that need – validating their attitudes and lifestyle through imitation. In such cases, rather than simply surrendering to the pressure or (as we’re more inclined to do) pushing back, we need to be beacons of love. We serve a God who delights in diversity… and so should we.

In living this life of obedience, it’s important to recognize that “different” doesn’t always equal “bad” or “wrong”. Just because I listen to the morning news and you watch the evening news doesn’t mean that either of us must make a judgment about which way is better or best. Our differing habits don’t reflect on our mental abilities or our worth as human beings. They are merely differences and they add color to life.

Steer clear of phrases that appear to degrade choices that differ from your own. And when you can legitimately avoid making a choice about what is better or best, do! A friend of mine once asked, “Why do I have to have a favorite? Why can’t I like them all?” His question is a valid one. A lot of heartache could be saved if we placed more emphasis on the beauty of variety than upon making judgments about its quality.

 That doesn’t mean, of course, that we accept every difference, viewpoint, or lifestyle choice as valid. (There are some differences which really do matter.) But it does mean that we accept the individuals who hold those differing viewpoints. As those around us grow to recognize the acceptance we offer, the peer pressure they exert upon us will often subside. (To be continued…)

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